Mary DiCarlo: How Our Family Navigates Life With A Child With Autism Spectrum Disorder

Families with children on the Autism Spectrum face unique challenges and experiences. Each family’s journey is different, filled with both struggles and triumphs. We want to share their stories, insights, and advice to help and inspire other families going through similar experiences. As part of this interview series, we had the pleasure to interview Mary DiCarlo.
Mary DiCarlo is a mom of two daughters, Sabrina, 27, a special education teacher, and Summer, 19. She has devoted her life to being a stay-at-home mother to care for Summer who has autism and other medical issues. Mary lives in East Haven, Connecticut, with her husband of 30 years, daughters, and their dog, Jacks.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we start, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your background and your childhood backstory?
I grew up in New Haven, Connecticut alongside my four siblings. From a young age, I always knew I wanted to be a mother. I met my husband when I was 19, and we married four years later. I had my first daughter when I was 26 and then Summer eight years later. Summer was my surprise miracle baby, as I had a hard time conceiving following the birth of my oldest child. I have dedicated my life to being a stay-at-home mom, a role I believe is one of the hardest jobs out there.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
One of my favorite quotes—I even have it on a shirt that I proudly wear—is, “Autism is a journey I never planned, but I sure do love my tour guide.” Having Summer diagnosed with autism was unexpected and impacted our family in many ways. I am so proud to be her mom and thankful for everything she has taught me, including how to choose joy in everyday moments.
Let’s now shift to the main part of our discussion. Can you share with us the moment you realized your child might have Autism Spectrum Disorder?
I sensed something was different with Summer from the very beginning. I felt that she had trouble learning, I just didn’t know to what extent. Unfortunately, I didn’t know enough about autism to know what to look for. For many years Summer was labeled as a child with learning disabilities, and I didn’t have anybody really to tell me anything different. When Summer was around 10, her behavioral problems peaked and I finally had to try to find somebody to help her. That is when she was finally and officially diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder.
Finding the right school was a turning point for our family. With the help of our school district, we enrolled Summer in the B.E.S.T. Academy in South Wallingford, Connecticut. The staff there provide the structure and support Summer needs to succeed academically and socially.
What unique approaches have you developed to support your child’s communication and social interaction skills?
Summer didn’t speak until she was 6. In addition to autism, she has apraxia, a motor disorder that impairs her ability to perform everyday tasks and speak. We tried sign language, picture communication, and hand-guiding techniques to help her communicate. Slowly, Summer began pointing and showing us what she wanted, eventually learning to use words. It was a long journey, but persistence and adaptability were key.
How do you prepare your child for changes in routine or new experiences?
Preparation is key. I talk to Summer a lot, reassuring her and explaining what will happen. If we’re going somewhere new, I bring her favorite snacks or activities to make her comfortable. I’ve learned to balance preparation with adaptability, waiting until the day of an outing to avoid unnecessary anxiety.
What are your “Top 5 Strategies to Navigate Life With a Child With Autism Spectrum Disorder”?
- Be flexible: Adapt to your child’s needs in the moment.
- Ignore outside opinions: Don’t let others’ judgments affect your parenting.
- Ask for help: Lean on family and friends when needed.
- Stay organized: Create a predictable environment for your child.
- Go to places your child loves: Find joy in activities that make your child happy.
Despite the challenges, families often find moments of triumph. Can you share a particularly proud moment?
One of the proudest moments was when Summer said her first word—“up.” We all celebrated, and it was a turning point in her communication journey.
Conclusion
At NewHope Academy, we aim to inspire resilience and understanding for families navigating autism. Every journey is unique, but with support and determination, breakthroughs are possible.
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